It wasn’t long after my father passed in 2001 that my mother was officially diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. She continued to live a very active life for several years, yet eventually, the disease made it necessary for mom to leave the home where my sister and I were raised. Mom’s first move was to a one-story home closer to Jimmy and me. It was while she lived there that she began “getting things in order”. She purchased a long-term health insurance policy. She updated her will, power of attorney, and medical power of attorney. Also, she began placing stickers on the bottom of objects indicating who they originally belonged to and who should receive them upon her passing. She filled “The Manilla Envelope” with a list she wrote of her assets, accounts, and life insurance policies. The envelope also included her thoughts for her funeral along with the music she had selected. And, she purchased “The Pink Dress”.
“The Pink Dress” was the dress she had chosen to be buried in and it hung in a garment bag at the back of her closet. This dress had quite a history…..it was moved from her one-story home to her independent living apartment, to her assisted living apartment, and then to her full care facility. With each move, my sister and I would just smile at each other and lovingly place it in the back of her closet. When originally purchased, the dress was a size 12 and, on two different occasions, she had taken it to the tailor to be “cut down”. “The Pink Dress” had already been through a lot with Mom but had yet to fulfill its purpose.
It has been almost a year since my mother left this earth for her heavenly home. The events that occurred one year ago, the week leading up to my mom’s death, have been constantly on my mind. As I frequently did, I had made a trip to West Virginia to spend a few days with my mom and my boys. Those days with her were such a gift. While I realized this at the time, I realize it even more so now.
It was Tuesday, January 21st, and I was spending the afternoon with Mom. We had been visiting in the common area of her facility when, like she always did, she wanted to go upstairs to her room so we could talk privately. I asked the aide to help move her upstairs. With tears filling my eyes, I watched her push forward on her walker…..each step an effort…..the aide holding her gait belt to catch her if she stumbled…..the oxygen tank clicking with each breath…..but yet, she still walked with her head high, with determination and purpose.
Once we reached her room, we visited for a while and then she asked me if I would help her try on “The Pink Dress”. I felt my body tense and my mind race in response to her request and I gently replied, “Why? Are you sure you really want to do that?” She nodded her head “yes”; the look on her face took me back to my childhood and I knew then for certain that we were going to try the dress on. She was, at that time, weighing approximately 90 pounds. She confided that she was fearful the dress would be too large. I reached into the back of her closet and pulled out the well-traveled garment bag containing “The Pink Dress”.
It had become such a struggle for Mom to change clothes, but she and I managed to get the dress on while she was seated in her chair. I helped her stand, straightened the dress, and we inched over to the mirror so she could see for herself. Surprisingly, the dress fit fairly well, and she seemed satisfied. She made me chuckle when she saw her hair and said, “Oh, my hair is a fright!”. We made her way back to her chair, got her redressed, fixed her hair…..and again, I lovingly placed “The Pink Dress” in the back of her closet…..not knowing that this time it would only be for eleven days. While this process had given me an uneasy feeling, I couldn’t help but wonder…..what did my Mother know that I didn’t?
It was Thursday, January 23rd, and I had again spent the afternoon with Mom. During our conversation, she asked me if I thought the dress still fit her and would be okay. I assured her that she and the dress were beautiful. As I prepared to leave, she placed her hand on my arm, looked me directly in the eye, and asked me if I remembered about “The Manila Envelope” in her lock box. I assured her that I did remember. She continued to look at me very intently and, placing my hand on hers, I gently reassured her, “I’ve got this, Mom”. She then smiled and said, “Well, you know my birthday isn’t far away and anything can happen when you are 85!”. Again, I had an uneasy feeling when I left as I wondered…..what did my Mother know that I didn’t?
It was the next Friday, January 31st, when I received the call that I needed to go and be with my Mom. As our family surrounded Mom with our hands joined in prayer, I will always treasure the look of pure joy on her face as she smiled looking around at all of us. In the very early hours of Saturday, she was ready…..she had checked all the boxes…..her affairs were in order…..she was ready to be free of the pain and the struggle…..she was ready to be reunited with my Dad…..she had no fear and no doubts…..but, most importantly, she was at complete peace with her next destination, she was confident in her beliefs, and she was ready to meet Jesus!
Yes, during the week of our last visits, I am quite confident that Mom had known what I couldn’t know…..I imagine that Jesus had softly whispered in her ear, “Alice, my child, your work and time on earth is nearly done. It will very soon be time for you to come home. I will be here waiting for you”.
Well done, good and faithful servant; Enter into the joy of your Lord. Matthew 25:23
My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? John 14:2
originally written January 22, 2021
